I hope you all had a fantastic Easter. The kids were spoilt rotten by friends/family and of course the Easter bunny.They each have a mixing bowl filled with chocolate sat on top of our freezer. Think it will last them right through til summer! At least I don't have to worry about buying in puddings for them lol
I hosted an easter egg hunt last Saturday for my friends. We had loads of fun and even got the BBQ going. We just about got the egg and spoon races done in time before the rain descended.
It was also good to get to know Miss E's new fiance (Mr M) as we've only met him once before at little madam's 2nd birthday party. It seems very sudden this engagement, kind of reminds me of myself with an ex boyfriend. We were all over each other and it was young love etc... The same thing happened with the other half and I, when I look back at how we were when we first got together I just laugh, we are no way as lovey-dovy now as we were then which is a little sad when you come to think of it.
We have been through a lot together and our families don't make things any easier. I hate the fact the other half will never have 'the dreaded parent-in-laws' people laugh and joke about having to meet their partners parents etc but they don't realise how good they have it. When the other half and I finally decide to set a date then it will be the most unconventional wedding to date. And there was me hoping for the traditional church wedding...

Speaking of parent-in-laws... Happy Birthday to the other halfs dad yesterday. There was a big debate between the other half and I as to whether I would go over to the house with little madam or not. I didn't really fancy being put in the same room as the other halfs nutcase sister but decided in the end that little madam should really see her grandad on his birthday regardless of everything else going on even if it meant being there for 5 minutes. As it turned out the other halfs sister was just leaving as I was walking up to the house. She spoke to me very briefly and walked on. It was good to spend a little time with my niece though, she is still living with the other halfs parents for the time being.

It is my sisters birthday next week. I feel awful as I can't afford very much.

I've been teaching this morning. My pupil said to me "I keep forgetting to ask you, where is your fluffy white guinea pig?" :( I had to tell her and her gran that sadly Nostrills is no longer with us :( luckily her gran was quick to reassure my pupil that these things happen and everything goes round full circle which really helped me as I could feel myself getting a little choked up :( I remember when the other half was telling little miss K and J about Nostrills, we were walking home in the dark and he was explaining that Nostrills was an old lady etc... they were sad about it and asked a lot of questions. I was walking just behind them pushing the stroller with tears in my eyes :(
It sounds silly but it really does bring home the fact that of course we are all going to die one day. Thats just a statement, a known fact. But no one really prepares anyone for the grieving you will have to go through. I have been talking to my counsellor about my fear of death in my last meetings before the easter break. We will probably discuss it again tomorrow. Just the idea of someone really close to me dying suddenly makes me feel physically sick.

I think this is why I get so frustrated at peoples lack of moral and constant moaning at the most petty things. Why don't people understand that you are only here once. I watch people close to me living to work rather than working to live and it makes me so cross. You will never get this time again. My Auntys death and also my friends father dying taught me a lot about how short life is.

I'm in the worst position I have ever been financially and the other half is constantly having nervous breakdowns and thinks I never care because I don't get as 'worried' as him. The truth is of course I worry but I also know it's not worth getting hysterical about it because how exactly will that help anyone?! There are hurdles in life that we need to just get over and deal with.