Well, here I am, in Cheltenham! Had a really good week so far :-) Everyone is at work during the day and Lou goes off to her lifeguard course all day so Little Madam and I are left to entertain ourselves which isn't too hard seeing as there are three beautiful kitty cats around to play with! I miss Socks and Mitchel though :-( Will see them again on Sunday though :D 

Money is ridiculously tight at the moment. I have a grand total of £40 left :-( Apparently the Virgin Media has cut out back at home so as you can imagine I got a rather shitty phone call from the other half first thing this morning as if it is my fault... Getting really fed up with him again. He says he's all for me doing this new business but because we haven't got any money in our back pockets after three whole weeks of being in business i'm some sort of failure and need to 'get off my ass and get a job'... Not really sure at this moment if our relationship is going to stand the test of time to be honest.

God what a  mess. Why can't he just let me do what I have to do. Businesses need to be built up and re-invested in and how and I supposed to do that when he gives it three bloody weeks? I love my work and I would love it a lot more if people had more faith instead of critisising my way of life. 

I'm going because I am getting all worked up again...

We had little madams parents evening tonight. She is doing really well and is advanced! We must be doing something right :D I really want to focus on her potty training now. The nursery are going to help.

Just found out that a family holiday has been planned for a weekend in February next year which sounds like great fun :D Unfortunately Lou can't make it due to Police commitments and i'm secretly hoping the 'parents' bail out as I really don't want them ruining everything which they will if they go.

I can't wait until my trip to Cheltenham at the end of this month!

Better go, think Little Madam has fallen out of bed again!!

OMGGGGGGG, I just felt the need to write that. I feel like that a lot lately. Drained and tense.

There is so much going on and I think my mind and body is now struggling to cope with the reality of our situation. We are so poor it's unreal. Obviously I understand that there are people out there with literally nothing and believe me, I sit here alot and tell myself to look at my situation throught their eyes. Perhaps I am being selfish. It still gets me down though :( Me and the other half still aren't 100% right which leaves me feeling unstable and insecure. I just want everything to be ok, and to know that everything will actually be ok because it's alright to say it out loud it's just the believing it that I think I am struggling with.
We have our niece staying here every night to sleep as she has nowhere else to stay until her mum moves out of the place she is staying (long story). So at the moment I am having to deal with the fact that she is obviously struggling with being passed from pillar to post for the foreseeable future. She is only 4 and to be honest, once she has got over the initial clingyness to the other half's mum each evening she settles really well at night and goes straight to sleep dispite Little Madam running riot up until aruond 10pm most nights!
Ebay is going 'ok'. I absolutely LOVE my work but I need to increase my sales by at least 70% in order to earn enough to help with bills. I am going to visit my nan this weekend to sort out my self-assessment.
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and breathe...
I don't even know what else to say right now :( x x